...pity that its topic totally applies to me.

 newest shirt

(source: the ever-awesome xkcd)

[ published on Sat 03.09.2016 16:20 | filed in still-not-king | ]

she's a cool person, i highly suspect her boyfriend thinks she's hot - i find her awesome, because i get the best birthday presents from her.

this year they included, amongst other things, some really hot stuff:

 supersaucy sauces

i opened one bottle yesterday, and wohoohoooooot! two hours after having a little on some toasted bread i still felt it burn around my mouth. very nice stuff, thank you conny!

[ published on Sat 30.07.2016 20:59 | filed in still-not-king | ]
 conny, hunter valley

today my daughter cornelia turns 20. congrats and well done!

it's been quite a journey and i'm happy conny has grown up to be a pretty good person.

 conny frisch geschluepft
[ published on Sun 23.08.2015 12:51 | filed in still-not-king | ]

i'm still here. nothing especially newsworthy to report, except that i'm getting better at making my own bread - now without any machine help (well, except the oven).

 handgemachtes brot handgemachtes brot

oh, and the sunsets around here are pretty nice. pity that i get to see them mostly when i leave the office - i "work to live but live to work" and not much else.

 sunset at work sunset at work sunset at work
[ published on Sun 21.06.2015 13:50 | filed in still-not-king | ]

so it's finally 19115.

haderer-2015

(source: dunno, but i'm pretty sure it's a cartoon by Gerhard Haderer)

the weather here has been pretty lousy almost continually since 24.12., except (what a surprise!) for this week's work days. none of my vacation plans worked out at all, but christmas itself was very nice - conny and andrew (oh, and we mustn't forget maxi!) visited.

 conny und az xmas conny und az xmas
 conny andrew und der wackeldackel conny andrew und der wackeldackel

that's what we did on the 24th, before starting our late-arvo cooking session:

 xmas 2014 xmas 2014 xmas 2014 xmas 2014 xmas 2014 xmas 2014

the pooch didn't exactly appreciate being left with this here babysitter while conny and andrew went to the gym; maxi was very worried and insisted on sitting on my lap.

 wackeldackel-babysitten

note to self: for the next attempt to make gherkins in brine i'll have to find a better method for keeping them dunked below the surface... three ended up poking out this time, rotted and wrecked the whole batch.

 salzgurken experiment salzgurken experiment salzgurken experiment

and that's about it for now. keep calm, move on, nothing to see here.

[ published on Sun 11.01.2015 18:24 | filed in still-not-king | ]

when i came home today i didn't find the garage door handle - which isn't a real surprise, because it's not my garage door. strange.

at my door mat there was a bill for $some_other_resident, 79 $street_address, for a new garage roller door. $some_other_resident is not me, for no values of me, but 79 is mine.

$some_other_resident wasn't too happy when i walked over to her place with that bill in hand. apparently the door installer measured her garage door but installed it in mine (or maybe he was confuzzled from the beginning).

now i'm curious what'll happen: i'm certainly not going to pay $650 for a door that i didn't order, replacing my perfectly working old door.

now, if he can find my old door he can certainly reinstall that (but i find it somewhat unlikely that they didn't dump the thing at the garbage transfer station straight away) - or a different door that is in comparable condition and for which i get keys.

[ published on Mon 25.11.2013 17:42 | filed in still-not-king | ]
  1. Not allowed to play Perl Golf.
  2. Mustn't write dense expressions that use few spaces.
  3. I may not exorcise the g**gle, even though we detests them.
  4. to 213: to be announced, because actually it's really pretty good at work :-)


click here for the rest of the story...

[ published on Wed 30.10.2013 19:47 | filed in still-not-king | ]

As of tomorrow I'm a full-time worker bee again.

[ published on Sun 20.10.2013 16:10 | filed in still-not-king | ]

...when it comes to door-to-door salescritters, fundraisers, religious looneys and other scum who bother me at home.

I think I'm a fairly polite person, overall. However I do know that towards professional door knockers I'm very rude, and that's absolutely on purpose.

  • First, if you ignore the 'no salespeople' sticker on my door (at chest height, really hard to miss), then in my book this constitutes full acceptance of any amount of rudeness on my part.

    The two begging bastards that I sent packing this afternoon claimed the sticker doesn't apply to them "when fundraising", upon which I pointed out that in this case politeness doesn't apply to them, either.

  • Second, it's quite amazing how badly many of these fellows take being treated rudely.

    I really like that, because it makes my revenge so much sweeter. In return for them annoying me greatly, I annoy them back - and it would be a shame if they didn't care at least a bit :-)

  • Third, it's pretty quick. A few choice words followed by slamming the door in the critter's face very efficiently terminates all unnecessary arguments and delay tactics like discussing how I am or what their name is (they rarely ever get far enough to tell me what crap they want me to buy or what cause to donate for).

[ published on Fri 24.05.2013 20:07 | filed in still-not-king | ]

It seems that during the last two months there was about as much sun in Queensland as there is green in Greenland (Erik the Red = marketing bozo).
click here for the rest of the story...

[ published on Mon 04.03.2013 17:59 | filed in still-not-king | ]

There were some minor wall/ceiling paint touchups to do at home, preferrably with a roller because of the nice texture. I still had some small foam roller covers, but the roller handle had vanished.

No problem: here's how I solve minor annoyances like that:

 az's paint roller, mk.1

Locking pliers are great :-)

[ published on Sat 19.01.2013 19:59 | filed in still-not-king | ]

Fri 21. late night: received an SMS from friends, saying they're going bush camping and whether I'd like to join them.

Sat 22 morning: 250km drive to the upper Clarence River west of Casino

Sun to Tue: relaxing in the shade :-) That particular spot seems to be known to fairly few people and is really lovely. It's on the banks of the Clarence, and well within its flood zone. There are bent trees growing horizontally all over the place, and the evidence of the big floods of two years ago is really stunning: the Clarence is at that point not a big river, but the high water marks are incredibly high up. Anyway, all that flooding makes for very very lush grass and pleasant camping. Only downside: the cows and their patties make for lots of flies. The weather forecast had been pretty bad, but all the storms bypassed us and it drizzled just once, briefly. It was really hot and humid, enough so that even I spent some time in the river (I'm otherwise not a great friend of water and swimming). Getting flushed from the tent at 0730 (because of the heat) is not my preferred way to wake up, but after a coffee and a brief swim around 0900 my brain was usually ready for the day - much of which I spent lounging with books and a few cold beers.

The Clarence and its flood plain (well, more of a flood valley).

 bridge over the clarence clarence river minimally rapid rapids clarence flood plain clarence flood plain clarence flood plain clarence flood plain

My tent next to one of the many horizontal trees.

 tent vs local vertical my tent

Our "lounge" area next to the river. My compact camp kitchen did sterling duties, and so did the MSR Whisperlite (which is now 26 years old!). The tarp in the foreground is mine, the camper/tent combo belongs to my friends. In Europe I never bothered with a tarp, but in Oz it's really essential for getting out of the sun.

 my camp kitchen camp site camp site

The kids used their personal swags, but I much prefer a fullsize tent to one of these coffins.

 jaspers swag

I said it was hot, didn't I? Swimming with a hat on looks weird, and I know that hat of mine looks dorky (but whatever works).

 swimming oz style swimming oz style az dorky hat

That's in the evening.

 az enjoying xmas
[ published on Fri 28.12.2012 12:03 | filed in still-not-king | ]

What a letdown: not a single apocalyptic prediction has come true and none of the nutters were elevated, abducted, or otherwise interestingly transformed. Shocking, Truly Shocking.

Better luck next time, maybe? I'm not giving up hopes for the real Ship B, Golgafrinchan Ark Fleet, just yet. In the meantime imagine the joy of the inhabitants of Bugarach when they get their town back!

[ published on Sat 22.12.2012 06:15 | filed in still-not-king | ]

The not so secret diary of Aragorn Alexander son of Arathorn Andreas:

Day 4064 of my quest work at $PlaceAcrossThePark: after uncounted years of hard graft the managers, marketeers and other minions of Mordor Mammon have finally succeeded in strategizing Hobbiton the IT school into oblivion.

It's now called the "Department of Business Information Systems" and a few hardy hobbits non-technically oriented academics will likely remain for a while but for the rest of us it's off to the Grey Havens.

So, as of christmas I'll have to look for a sysadmin/netadmin/security/dev job again (the uni education sector seems deadish, and anyway I've had enough of that). I just hope I don't have to move house, Bree Brisbane is a bit far for daily commuting, and the idea of moving to super-busy places like Isengard Sydney is a bit of a turn-off.

[ published on Fri 28.09.2012 12:01 | filed in still-not-king | ]

...but not necessarily/exactly you.

 BB

nothing more to see - i'm just being silly, move along, move along.

[ published on Sat 22.09.2012 00:00 | filed in still-not-king | ]

The 23rd was Anna Akhmatova's 123rd birthday - or Alan Turing's 100th - or my 40th (same for Zinedine Zidane).

[ published on Tue 26.06.2012 00:07 | filed in still-not-king | ]

yesterday i did a quick tally of my cycling this year, and it looks like i rode between 2700 and 4000km (26km 'standard trip', never less than twice a week but more commonly 3-4 times, all year round).

not too bad, considering my slacker nature...

[ published on Fri 23.12.2011 10:09 | filed in still-not-king | ]

Exactly ten years ago I arrived in Australia.

[ published on Wed 10.08.2011 11:06 | filed in still-not-king | ]

ring ring goes my (private) mobile phone.

me: hello, alex speaking.

her: hi it's <female, australian> with telstra, how are you?

me: fine, thanks. (that's a polite lie: i hate the telco monopolist and avoid them wherever i can. they shouldn't have this number, btw.)

her: that's great. please note that this call may be recorded or monitored for training and quality assurance purposes. are you ok with that?

me: no, i'm not. i do not want this call to be recorded.

her: brief pause while some thoughts scramble through her hamster brain, which is obviously completely lost when things leave the crib sheet path oh, but why do you not want that call recorded?

me: i do not want this call to be recorded.

her: but what's the problem?

me: i do not want this call to be recorded.

her: ok, i won't be able to continue this call then. have a good day. click

me: happy

Next time I think I'll ask for extra anchovies with my pizza (if male sales weasel) or request some telephone sex (if female).

ch860927

See also: It's Lenny, a recent development by an Australian BOFH with my kind of humour. VOIP rocks :-)

[ published on Wed 08.06.2011 17:07 | filed in still-not-king | ]

acute angle, doubleplus-uncute pissed-off human, acute pain.

why? i highsided my bicycle just an hour ago: i chose too acute an angle when passing from the grass onto a concrete pathway, the grass was high and hid the large difference in height, the front tire caught and stayed down on the grass and i got tossed over the frame and deposited onto the concrete.

one big bruise on my hip, a skinned knee and forearm/elbow. not too bad but still annoying. the second half of my usual 26km round was not exactly comfortable - but i did not shorten the distance.

[ published on Tue 22.03.2011 17:09 | filed in still-not-king | ]

For sysadmins, that is. (automation, robustness etc.pp.) For people in solo households (like me) it's not so definite.

I dislike cleaning, but I like it when the house is clean. Specifically, I dislike scrubbing the kitchen sink/washbasin strainers and their surrounds: always somewhat grotty and lots of brushing required to keep them nice.

But yesterday I found out that there's a super-lazy solution for that: put in the stopper, pour in some bleach, let it stand for an hour or so, then unstopper the drain and you're done. Results were shiny and dirt-free.

[ published on Tue 15.03.2011 11:51 | filed in still-not-king | ]

would you please send me a kill switch for my give-a-shitter? I need that to survive work without going mad and committing mega-idioticide... Oh, and a set of human-rated gills, please, too: to survive the cruddy weather this "summer.

[ published on Tue 07.12.2010 18:37 | filed in still-not-king | ]
 enten-besuch


click here for the rest of the story...

[ published on Tue 30.11.2010 21:53 | filed in still-not-king | ]

Can you think of something more ridiculous than this? Imagine: a cyclist riding up to a traffic light, not getting out of his clipless pedals in time and falling over like a drunk chicken.
click here for the rest of the story...

[ published on Sat 20.11.2010 19:42 | filed in still-not-king | ]

i hate having neighbours close by, or sharing a wall. more specifically, i hate my neighbours except for A+M+M, but the others more than make up for those good people.

i hate the goddamn noisy brats - there's a difference between 'happy kids' and 'loud tantrum-throwing fucks', and i don't mind the former at all.

the rest, they can all die as far as i'm concerned, and soon, please.

[ published on Sun 07.11.2010 20:14 | filed in still-not-king | ]

Conny has left the building. Still in transit: yesterday BNE-AKL, a few hours in Auckland, then AKL-LAX and many boring hours to be whiled away in Los Angeles. Now she's close to boarding her last flight, LAX-PHL, and should arrive back home in Philadelphia tomorrow morning local time.

...

And it's pretty empty in this here house, without her around.

[ published on Wed 18.08.2010 11:58 | filed in still-not-king | ]

Tokyo's oldest living man was actually more like the oldest undiscovered modern-age mummy: dead for about 30 years.

Now this couldn't happen to me: first this climate is too humid for meat staying fresh long (and my ceiling fans wouldn't suffice for making me into biltong), and furthermore my money would run out, my house would go back to the bank (but that's only for a few more years) and so the vultures would find me. Sky burial by bank clerk, anyone?

Sort-of bad: there aren't many other scenarios for me being discovered.

[ published on Fri 30.07.2010 11:57 | filed in still-not-king | ]

Today, after reading up on couchdb I decided to take a break from vapour-ware and high-flying ideas and Do Something Practical, like finally take apart my whipper snipper to figure out why it doesn't start (different kinds of vapours are involved, this being a cheap two-stroke FPOS).

Enthusiastic tool application quickly demonstrated one big issue with any metal FPOS (remember, I said cheap): very rough edges. Slipping and sliding the back of your finger along such edges is highly counter-indicated.

 bloody sink

Well, there must have been a caterpillar lurking beneath the skin on my index finger, because this not-so-deep cut was dribbling red juice beyond what I'd have expected; and the motor oil, petrol and other assorted grease-suspended gunk on my hands didn't exactly make my journey to the bathroom any cleaner.

But the icing on the cake came later: I did, of course, finish the disassembly after wrapping up my finger - only to find out that the whipper snipper engine is beyond salvation. Just about zero compression, most rubber/plastic parts rotten. A new one will likely cost less than the replacement parts, never mind the time and effort for a potential repair.

WAAAAAAH!

[ published on Sat 10.04.2010 16:24 | filed in still-not-king | ]

...of having extremely few friends, no girlfriend (and no hope of finding one), absolutely zero social life and of having an apparently abrasive personality?
click here for the rest of the story...

[ published on Fri 26.02.2010 00:38 | filed in still-not-king | ]

...first, I'd get a muzzle for the damn howler monkey neighbours' dog. Not because of the barking, but because of the dog being one of the root causes for the everlasting bloody aggravation: see, he's got some Doberman in the mix, and his owners are total assholes, so he's decent-sized, frisky and badly educated. That makes him pinch the damn kids when they yell and scream too much, eliciting more screaming and howling, which generates more pinching and screaming and tantrums...Oh Joy.

Next, I'd cut all the howler monkeys' vocal cords, and thus earn the everlasting gratitude from the other neighbours around - who are all fairly quiet denizens.

And finally, I'd shoot all the monkey neighbours for good measure - 'it's the only way to be sure'.

No, I'm not angry, not at all. Why do you think so?

From the bottom of my heart I wish the plague and a quick, quiet death on these neighbours.

[ published on Sun 14.02.2010 14:32 | filed in still-not-king | ]

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